A week later I was done with the cold/flu but still had asthma and a horrible cough. My ribs ached. I tried skating but I ended up having coughing fits and had to get off the ice after half an hour. (That nearly killed me since I had the entire rink to myself and I just couldn't skate anymore. Bummer!) Back to the doctor and I was put on Advair. All this time I have also been going to the acupuncturist. I can't believe how horrible this has been. It has been making me tired. I get winded just walking the level corridors at work. I have missed four weeks of skating practice and I am supposed to compete this Saturday. Ugh. I am so disappointed and frustrated. I really want to go. I keep talking myself into it and then out of it. After skating for 20 minutes today I had talked myself into going. Then I went to acupuncture and he said, very wisely, "if you are on the fence, stay home and take care of your body. I know how crazy you athletes can get and you need to take care of yourself." Now I am talking myself out of it again.
Things running through my head:
- It isn't like it is a big competition.
- I am only doing two moves in the field patterns and two spins.
- I would be on the ice less than five minutes.
- There is only one other lady competing in my group.
- I am 47 years old what the hell are you beating yourself up for?
- Stay home and take care of yourself.
- There will always be another competition.
- My competition dress never got made since I was too sick to even sew.
- I'm crazy.
- My acupuncturist is right.
- If I was a real athlete I would just suck it up and go anyway.
- I should go just for the experience.
So I vacillate back and forth. I am driving my spouse nuts since we are definitely going one minute and definitely staying home the next. I will have to make up my mind tomorrow. I'll let you know what I decide. Meanwhile I have to practice tomorrow and see what happens.